


Dragonborn and Delighted

by DustInTheLight



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fucking with Format, Funny, Messed up Format, Romantic Comedy, Skyrim - Freeform, Skyrim Spoilers, They literally just play Skyrim, They play Skyrim, crackfic, funny fluff, joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-29 00:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21145430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustInTheLight/pseuds/DustInTheLight
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley, unbeknownst to each other, both enjoy a casual game of Skyrim every now and then, which increases when they find people they enjoy playing multiplayer with.Little do they know they know their multiplayer partners very, very well indeed.





	Dragonborn and Delighted

**User: HolyEzra**  
Species: Nord  
_Fled the cave without hurting the bear._  
_Tendency to somehow gain countless coins, all of which are then gifted to beggars._  
_Adopts every child possible. Game may somehow have allowed unlimited space in houses to accommodate these children._

* * *

**User: FallenButFashionable**  
Species: Argonian  
_Killed the bear and then hacked at its corpse for a while longer just for kicks._  
_Enjoys spreading general chaos wherever he goes._  
_Avoids killing dragons where he can help it. "Too close to sna-Argonians. Makes me sad."_

_ _

* * *

_Active: Multiplayer Mod_

**FallenButFashionable**  
Right, which of you little shits wants to get ROBBED

**TheDanzel**  
come at me bro

**gargobian**  
Like to see u try

**HolyEzra**  
Well, that's hardly necessary, is it? People are just here to have a good time.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Ezra, you're getting robbed

**HolyEzra**  
What?!

_FallenButFashionable was killed by HolyEzra_

**HolyEzra**  
Really, so uncalled for... I apologise deeply for anyone who had to see that. It was most unbecoming of me but really, what was I to do?

* * *

_Final Battle: Alduin begins_

**FallenButFashionable**  
Ezra? Thought I recognised you. Prick.

**HolyEzra**  
Why, Fallen! How lovely to see you again. I'd love to stop and chat - perhaps after we finish this battle? I'd hate to let this vile creature escape and steal more souls.

**FallenButFashionable**  
k

10 minutes later...  
_Alduin has been defeated._

**FallenButFashionable**  
Right.

**HolyEzra**  
Quite right, dear boy - or, whoever you may be. I must apologise for our last encounter.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Yeah, right. Enjoy looting me, you little shit?

**HolyEzra**  
No, no, really, I mean it. Of course, you can't go around robbing people without expecting any repercussions. Of course I didn't loot you! That would be stealing!

**FallenButFashionable**  
Prick.

**HolyEzra**  
How rude.

**kelieva**  
guys take ur spat elsewhere we got dragon souls to get

* * *

**FallenButFashionable**  
I CAN RIDE DRAGONS

**BeeNoises**  
Good 4 u

**HolyEzra**  
Fallen? My my, it is you!

**FallenButFashionable**  
Ugh, not you again.

**HolyEzra**  
I see your manners haven't changed.

**FallenButFashionable**  
And you're no less a prick.

**BeeNoises**  
Wat's going on

**HolyEzra**  
That's you up there? On that dragon?

**FallenButFashionable**  
DAMN RIGHT IT IS

**HolyEzra**  
No need to yell. Just... be careful not to fall off, will you?

**FallenButFashionable**  
Bit late for that. You seen my name?

**HolyEzra**  
Really, Fallen. You know what I meant.

**BeeNoises**  
Guys wat's going on

**FallenButFashionable**  
I don't think you even CAN fall off these things

**HolyEzra**  
Well... just be careful. They seem far too dangerous for me.

**FallenButFashionable**  
You've got to be kidding. It's a dragon.

**HolyEzra**  
Yes, well, they're fire-breathing monsters. Just look back at history and mythology, they're almost never revered in any sort of positive light.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Don't make me say it

**HolyEzra**  
Say what, pray tell?

**FallenButFashionable**  
Prick.

* * *

**HolyEzra**  
Fallen! Lovely to see you again.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Ezra. Still a prick?

**HolyEzra**  
Always, dear boy.  
My my, what's that? You've changed.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Got new armour. You like it?

**HolyEzra**  
My word, that looks like Daedric armour! You're nowhere near close to that plotline! How did you...

_FallenButFashionable has gifted **(3) Daedric Helmet, (1) Daedric Boots, (1) Daedric Gauntlets, (2) Daedric Cuirass, (2) Daedric Greaves**, and **(3) Daedric Shield** to HolyEzra_

**FallenButFashionable**  
Merry Christmas

**HolyEzra**  
Fallen! It's June!

**FallenButFashionable**  
Surprise, then. Happy birthday. Just take em.

**HolyEzra**  
Knowing you, you used one of those special code potions to get these.

**FallenButFashionable**  
They're cheat codes, Ezra, really. How many times I gotta tell you?  
You like them?  
...  
...  
No?

_HolyEzra equipped **Daedric Helmet, Daedric Boots, Daedric Gauntlets, Daedric Cuirass, Daedric Greaves,** and **Daedric Shield**_

**HolyEzra**  
Thank you.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Don't worry about it. Where to?

**HolyEzra**  
How about Whiterun? I simply must check in on my children.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Oh f*ck, don't remind me. How many you got now?

**HolyEzra**  
...Not enough.

* * *

_Green Dragon has been defeated_

**HolyEzra**  
Huzzah!

**FallenButFashionable**  
Fantastic. Can we go?

**HolyEzra**  
Oh, dear boy, of course. I forget how much you dislike this part of the game.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Just  
Feels unfair, is all

**HolyEzra**  
Of course.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Reptiles get so much hate

**HolyEzra**  
I know. It is dreadfully unfair

**FallenButFashionable**  
Why we gotta kill em? They're already hated and feared for no reason

**HolyEzra**  
I know, dear.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Just feels wrong, is all.

**HolyEzra**  
Tavern?

**FallenButFashionable**  
Tavern.

* * *

**HolyEzra**  
FALLEN

**FallenButFashionable**  
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DRUNK

**HolyEzra**  
YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF WHITERUN  
PLEASE PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON

**FallenButFashionable**  
bite me

**dracomalfoy33**  
haha gay

**FallenButFashionable**  
Always ~

**HolyEzra**  
FALLEN. I SWEAR

**FallenButFashionable**  
You do? I'd love to see that.

**HolyEzra**  
Really, dear boy, must you?  
wait  
NO  
NO NO NO DON'T

**dracomalfoy33**  
dude wtf  
did you just mod like a million trolls into the game

**FallenButFashionable**  
Can't hear you, love. Must be distracted by le gay ~

_dracomalfoy33 has been killed by an Ice Troll_

* * *

_Vampire has been killed by FallenButFashionable_

**FallenButFashionable  
**Right then.

**HolyEzra  
**Oh, no!

**FallenButFashionable  
**What?

**HolyEzra  
**It bit me! : (

**FallenButFashionable  
**So what?

**HolyEzra  
**I'll become a vampire!

**FallenButFashionable  
** And?  
I'm not following

**HolyEzra  
**They're hardly the most... Holy... creatures

**FallenButFashionable  
**And? You can just fix it

**HolyEzra  
**I can?

**FallenButFashionable  
** Well, kinda  
You gotta go see a priest

**HolyEzra  
**Oh, bother... come with me?

**FallenButFashionable  
**Always.

* * *

**FallenButFashionable**  
Yo  
Yo  
Yo, Ezra  
Ezra  
Ezra, ey  
Ezra

**HolyEzra  
**My lord, Fallen, what is it?

**FallenButFashionable**  
I've got something to show you.  
Fast travel to Paarthurnax

**HolyEzra**  
Really, my dear?

**FallenButFashionable**  
Yes it's important

_HolyEzra fast travelled to High Hrothgar_

_FallenButFashionable fast travelled to High Hrothgar_

_FallenButFashionable dropped (2500) Cheese Wheels_

**HolyEzra  
**FALLEN

**FallenButFashionable  
**:D

**HolyEzra**  
That's a waste of food! Look at it all, that can't be eaten now!  
Think of all the homeless folk!

**FallenButFashionable**  
You love it :P

**HolyEzra**  
I most certainly don't!  
I have half a mind to ask you to go and pick all of that up!

**FallenButFashionable**  
:D

* * *

**FallenButFashionable**  
Hey

**HolyEzra**  
Hello, dear

**FallenButFashionable**  
Been thinking

**HolyEzra**  
What's on your mind?

**FallenButFashionable**  
I kinda wanna go back and finish quest lines  
Means I won't be up for multiplayer wandering for a bit  
Maybe you could do em too? Then we could meet up again once we finish the quests

**HolyEzra**  
If that's what you want, that's certainly okay.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Yeah?

**HolyEzra  
**Yes, dear. Go have fun! I'll try out the quests myself, too.

**FallenButFashionable**  
Thanks, Ezra. You're not that much of a prick, you know.

**HolyEzra  
**: ) 

* * *

_HolyEzra has been betrayed by Mercer Frey._

_Karliah  
"The next time we meet, it will be your undoing."_

_*Karliah disappears. Mercer turns and walks over to HolyEzra.*_

_Mercer  
"How interesting. It appears Gallus' history has repeated itself. Karliah has provided me with the means to be rid of-"_

...

...

...

**HolyEzra  
**What?

_Gameplay interrupted._

**FallenButFashionable**  
DIE  
YOU MOTHERLOVING LITTLE SHIT

_Mercer Frey was killed by FallenButFashionable_

**HolyEzra**  
WHAT

**FallenButFashionable**  
Surprise? Eh...

**HolyEzra**  
WHAT IS HAPPENING

**FallenButFashionable**  
I just played this quest. Really pissed me off, you know.

**HolyEzra**  
DID YOU JUST BREAK  
THE ENTIRE GAME  
BECAUSE HE BETRAYED ME

**FallenButFashionable**  
He was going to stab you! :(

**HolyEzra**  
How did you even

**FallenButFashionable**  
I'd just hate to see you embarrassed

**HolyEzra**  
What  
What did you say

**FallenButFashionable**  
What?

**HolyEzra**  
You'd hate to see me embarrassed?  
You broke the entire game out of nowhere?  
...  
...  
...  
Crowley?

**FallenButFashionable**  
... what

**HolyEzra**  
I'M RIGHT  
AREN'T I

**FallenButFashionable**  
AZIRAPHALE  
ARE YOU THE PRICK???!!!

**HolyEzra**  
YOU BROKE MY GAME

**FallenButFashionable**  
I NEVER EVEN KNEW YOU HAD A GAMING PC  
WHAT THE HEAVEN IS GOING ON

* * *

2 weeks later...

_HolyEzra was married to FallenButFashionable_

**FallenButFashionable**  
:)

**HolyEzra**  
: ) <3

**Author's Note:**

> I refuse to apologise for this monstrosity. Enjoy.


End file.
